After the Setback

Life can come at you hard. It seems sometimes, when you make a decision and determination to do something, there are obstacles in the way. We make a decision to finally eat healthy, work out, etc., and our favorite food places have specials. We decide to get up early and work out…we still oversleep. We plan to save money, and that which we were going to save has to be allocated to something else. Life just keeps happening.

I recently made a decision to go back to school and finish my doctoral degree. This was a journey I started almost 10 years ago, but with the ups and downs of life, I stopped. Honestly, I was not even sure if I was going to go back and finish. I had completed the coursework and made it to the ABD (all but dissertation) stage, but with all that had happened, I was not sure I wanted to finish. After all, the program had changed, I had relocated, and one of my biggest cheerleaders, my mom, was gone. I wrestled with, “What’s the point?” Nevertheless, after prayer, meditation, prayer again, and more prayer (because let’s be honest, you can never have too much prayer, and a decision like this really needs prayer), I began to make plans to step out and start the dissertation journey.

As I have been planning the journey, I knew that I had to allocate time. I have certain routines in place. I have my church activities blocked off, my work schedule is set, but with the rest of my time, I am not always as intentional. I knew that with making the decision to return to school, I would have to be much tighter with my time, be consistent in what I do, and learn how to effectively use the word “NO” (that’s a post for another time…“The Complete Sentence of No!”). So I decided to begin to “practice” these time blocks. My thinking being: start now with the time blocks, routines, etc. As the saying goes, “If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” My goal: build the routines now so it is a smooth transition.

So, I started with the new schedule. I executed Day 1 well. I was proud of myself. I had successfully done what I set out to do.

Day 2 came…well, that was nowhere near the success of Day 1. To say Day 2 was draining is an understatement. From the commute to work, activities at work, and then a phone call about a friend who passed, Day 2 looked nothing like Day 1. Now, I was still planning to press my way through it, but honestly, I did not have it in me. I had been successful on Day 1, but this second day was something different. I fell asleep on the couch and did not do anything I intended to do.

Day 3 is here. I have been up since about 3 AM (and yes, it’s a workday…so a 3 AM wake-up may mean a caffeine run lol), but when I woke up, I felt guilty. I had made a decision to be consistent and did not make it two straight days. I began to wonder: If I can’t make it two days in a row, will I be successful in this new season? It would be easy to give up and walk away now, even before I begin.

The problem is, I would be quitting before I even began. How many times have we made a decision to give up before we really get started? What unrealized dreams do we have because we gave up early? Where could we be if we simply kept going, even when faced with the obstacles of life?

Life is hard. Things happen. Disappointments come. Setbacks happen. The key is to not get stuck and to learn to press forward. Philippians 3:13–14 is one of my favorite scriptures because it reminds me to reach forward and press on. Yes, life happened, happens, and will keep happening. I may not always hit my goal, but I cannot give up just because I missed it one day. I need to keep going.

So here I am, Day 3…starting this day fresh…and taking the journey one day at a time. So I missed it one day; I cannot let that one day keep me from my goal. There are going to be times when things do not go according to plan. And yes, consistency is key, but consistency does not mean perfection. One miss does not automatically disqualify me or count me out.

We may stumble, trip, or even fall, but getting up is key. Just as a baby learns how to walk, falls and missteps happen. We did not let those falls keep us from learning how to walk. Instead, with encouragement, we got back up and tried again. We pressed on.

As I write this, I am learning that this is bigger than just missing one day. I am preparing to return to a journey I started almost ten years ago. What began as a pause eventually became years away from something I once intended to finish. Yet, here I am—getting back up again. Maybe that’s the lesson. Whether the setback lasts a day, a week, a year, or even longer, it doesn’t have to be the end of the story.

Perhaps you find yourself in a place where the goal was set. Plans were laid out. But something happened, and you stumbled and fell. Perhaps, like me, you found yourself stuck for a while. Don’t stay there. Today is a new day. A chance at a fresh start.

Stand up, dust off that dream or vision board, and step out. We each have a new opportunity to not only begin again, but step closer to our goals and further into our dreams.

Let’s press on!