A Closer Walk With God

There is a song we sing, where the lyrics are: “Just closer walk with Thee. Granted Jesus is my plea. Daily walking close to Thee. Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.”

Don’t these prayers and song sound great? I mean, we sing this, we pray this, we shout on this. After all, who does not want to be in the will of God. I mean, don’t we want the world to know about how good our God is? Don’t we want to see Him do great and mighty things, especially in our lives?

I mean, this all sounds great. I know, it was something I have prayed, and looked for. I declared, boldly, without wavering; GOD I WANT TO SEE YOU DO GREAT AND MIGHTY THINGS! SHOW UP AND SHOW OUT IN MY LIFE AND MY SITUATION! I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW, IT WAS NOBODY BUT YOU THAT DID THIS”

Yes, I prayed this prayer back in April, and told a few people. And as I did, God said “oh poor little Tink, Tink. She has no idea what she is praying…OK, well you asked…now watch Me work”

See, this was something I now call a smart-dumb prayer. Just a term I came up with. You know how we learn, or some of us have learned, don’t pray that prayer for patience…cause this the prayer that the Lord says, ok sure…and you hit all types of traffic, or have to wait….I mean, do we really like waiting? We have microwaves because we want food cooked faster. We get impatient at restaurants when it takes too long for our order, or food. We do not like waiting…well at least i know I don’t

So, imagine me, back in the spring, when I knew the Lord was sending me to Texas. I had MY plan,and. I had resumes in hand. I was going to be here for about a week. And as fate would have it, the schools had already had spring break, so they would be open for me to walk in, resume in hand, have an on the spot interview, get hired and know I would be starting in July.

Yes, my plan was set. I mean, it made perfect sense. I had been told by people that the position I was looking for, i would have to go in the classroom first, do x,y and z,…and so much. But no,not me. Remember, I prayed that prayer: GOD I WANT TO SEE YOU DO GREAT AND MIGHTY THINGS. WORK LIKE ONLY YOU CAN! SHOW UP AND SHOW OUT!

I was going to go back ot VA, with my job offer, put it my notice to finish out the school year, and move the end of June, start July 1. The house was going to be on the market. I was going to close my house there, and close here all at the same time. Yes, perfect plan right? And with God, it could happen…because I know I can do all things through Christ….and He told me no good thing, and I am going to speak those things into existence…and if I ask, I will receive, and if I seek, I will find, knock and the door will be open….so I was asking, seeking, knocking, speaking, declaring…all that.

But I was missing some things too. You see, this is all fine. The Lord wants us to come to Him. Yes, He will bless us…but there are some stipulations, some requirements, some things we need to also do. He is not this genie in a bottle, or even our ATM that we just go push a button and tell Him to jump and He says: how high?

For those who have kids, and if not, think back to childhood. Now if you went to your parents, demanding things from them….how well did that turn out? Now, I am pretty sure that while we did not all grow up in the same household, I am sure we would have gotten similar responses: from that LOOK, to have you lost your ever-loving mind? Or who are you talking to?

We did not have the right to go demand anything from our parents. Now, could we request…sure, but demand…ummm no. And in the request, it was up to them to grant it or not. Sometimes, it was based on what we had done, or not done, other times, it may be because they were feeling generous. But when we went “entitled’ that we felt they owed us something, well…..

I would say look at this generation, but it is not just the kids. As adults, we too have this “entitled” spirit, that someone owes us something. Not sure how we got here, but it is the society we live in.

Ok, so back to me. You are going to learn a little about me, my journey, and how I discovered how this connects to having a closer walk with God, and being a true woman after HIs own heart.

Now, as I was saying earlier, I knew God was sending me to Texas. No doubt in my mind about that. I knew that I would be working in education, and that I would not have to take the “traditional” route of going back in the classroom and starting over. After all….and this is what I said…I have my masters, a doctoral candidate, worked in education for 21 years, and I am from Fairfax County, and a child of the Most High God! How dare you not know me, and what I have to offer. You should be running after me. See, here is where part of my problem was. My focus and motive was wrong. Yes, my prayer was for God to show up and show out, but why? I wanted to go back and do a “nana nana boo boo, look what I got…look what my God did” but it was for me, and not for Him to get the glory.

You see, when we are looking, seeking, asking, praying for things…the question is why? When God blesses us, what do we do with it? Are we doing it for self, or to build the kingdom? Are we looking to please God, or show off to man? What is our WHY?

So during this time, the Lord began to work with me. And I had to first humble myself, and then start spending some time with Him. It was in the intimate time, that God was going to work on me, and show me some things. I did not want to see, but needed to see.

Now, at the time, I did not realize how God was working, but He was. You see, even when we do not see Him, working, know that He is.

Romans 8:28 KJV reads: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Now we quote this scripture, but do we really know what this meas? Are we aware of what is involved in it? Are we willing to go through the all? Do we recognize that His purpose may cause us to get out of our comfort zone. His purpose may cause us to to have to, like Abraham, step out in faith, walking, without direction, but trusting that He will lead and guide us each step of the way. It may cause us to like Peter, do something that has never been done before, get out the boat and…walk on water.
So how do HIs purpose? Well, to get that, I need to get close to Him, spend time with Him, get get to know Him in a way I thought I knew HIm, but really did not. I recently heard a line in a song, and the line said” I want to know You, not just about You. You see…I was soon discovering, maybe I knew about Him, HIs character, HIs nature, but did I really know Him? And as I began to look at this, I had to see, what did I know about myself.

So, lets go back to my plan…you know the one with me getting the job, selling the house, buying, moving. Etc. I get back to Virginia, and I call my agent. Now she is the one that I used when I purchased my house 10 years ago. We had kept in touch over the years, and she knew that the plan was always to sell and eventually move to Texas…remember this started 10 years ago. So she was not surprised by the call. She is also a Believer, and a praying woman. So I call her, and tell her my plan. Now, looking back, while she was excited, her response was not exactly what I thought it would be. But I did not pick up on it then. Now she told me months later, when I called her with this grand plan, she was thinking too “poor Tink, tink! She has no clue what she is about to walk through to get to her promise!” It was almost as if I was standing there looking at the Promise Land, but missing the Red Sea, the mountains, hills, valleys, potholes, giants, and all that was in between. I was going from A to Z without the in between…cause remember I prayed that show up show out prayer!

So, we began the journey. Now, while on the journey, I asked a question. I told Anissa that I had noticed over my life, that God had placed people in my life that seemed to have this “protective” nature of me. I also knew that God had kept me from things, situations, places, people. I was trying to understand the why. I did not understand why God had not allowed for things to happen. Why was I single my whole life? Why was I surrounded by older woman? Why did I feel I never fit in with my peers? And so I asked Anissa, what is is that people are seeing in me, that makes them feel they need to “protect” me? It was at this point that I began to ask God…show me what it is God that people see? I know I am Your child, and You have something for Me, but what am I missing?

And with these questions: my journey to not just see me, but see Him really began. This journey will take me on one of self-discovery, learning who I am, who God is, and who I am in Him. This would be an ugly journey, because I was going to discovery some things about myself that I really would not like. And once we see things we do not like, it is up to us to decided if we are going to make a change or not.

When we begin to walk close with God, and allow Him to talk to us and work, there are some things He will show us….if we are open. And you know, some of those things we find, are not very pretty. We have tucked this thing, or things so far away, that we may have even forgotten about. Or perhaps, we just did not want to deal with it. I mean, it is what it is….this is us…We tell some people, I am who I am….I’m too old to change…or even use the famous “well God knows my heart”

And let’s pause there…yes, God knows our heart…but do we know our heart? What is really in our heart if we have this mindset that I am who I am, take it or leave it, and have no desire to change? Is our heart truly one that is aligned with God, or is it one that is aligned with self and flesh? Are we willing to let go of flesh, and what we want, think, or who we are, in order to be in HIs Will? Are we willing to give it all up, no matter the so called value?

Let’s look at our theme scripture, Matthew 26: 6-13.

Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper,[a] 7 a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head as he reclined at table. 8 And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? 9 For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.” 10 But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me. 11 For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. 12 In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. 13 Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.”

Now here, we see a woman, who we know from study is Mary, that came with this expensive oil that she broke and used to pour on Jesus. Now as she poured, those around her basically became indignant. After all, this was something that was expensive, and could been sold and the money used for the poor. Now while the disciples were fussing, complaining, and all, this did not stop Mary…after all, she was moving in such a way that she just wanted to please and be with Jesus.

This is something that is important, and something I had to learn, especially on this journey. You see, there may be times that the Lord has called you to do something. You know that you are in HIs Will, but there is noise and distraction from those around you. Sometimes it is from people close to you, other times, it may even be from people who are in the church. The disciples had been walking with Jesus closely. One would think that they knew what to say and do, but clearly they missed it. And they are not the only ones…sometimes we miss it. We hear the noise around us, and then we stop doing what God has called us to do. And sometimes the noise is from those who should know better…I found that happening even as I was stepping out and moving into what God had told me. There were people who said things that could and should have stopped me. And let me say this, the things they said made sense. The disciples talked about selling the oil and giving ti to the poor. And this makes sense….when I told people I was leaving and moving, the common statements said to me like “what about your parents?” Now, in fairness, this question made sense. After all, my parents have had some serious health challenges. So it would make sense that perhaps I needed to stop doing what I was doing and stay put. And this was coming from people who knew God…surely they would not say things to me that was not aligned with what God wanted….right? But honestly, does it matter? See, this is why it is important to know God for yourself, and know His voice.

See when we know the voice of God for ourselves, we can tune out all the noise and distraction that surrounds us and just ride. While on this journey, one of the biggest take aways I gained was in order to make it on this journey, or any other, I had to deepen my relationship with the Lord. Here is where I had to make a decision: I was either going to trust God or not. You see, He was about to take me to some places that would stretch me beyond my comfort zone. Now for anyone who has ever done any type of exercising, or PT, we know that stretching can be painful and uncomfortable. If I asked us to right now, stand up, and bend over and try to touch our toes, some of yall would look at me crazy. For that matter, I may look at me crazy. As it is now, we don’t even all bend over to tie our shoes, or put socks on. No, we sit down, pull our leg up, put the shoe or sock on, then got to catch our breath. Stretching can be uncomfortable…but it is necessary. Any good trainer will tell you to properly warmup and stretch before working out. Why? Because stretching helps keep your muscles healthy, strong and flexible so you can enhance your performance, and improve range of motion. Hold on to this because we are going to revisit it shortly.

So, come ride with me for a few moments as we walk through this car ride the Lord has had me on since April…and yes I said had, because the ride is still happening, even as we speak. The first thing I learned is I must TRUST Him. Now remember that prayer I prayed earlier? The one I said: GOD SHOW UP AND SHOW OUT! DO GREAT AND MIGHTY THINGS! USE ME! Well, He said: Bet! You sure? Ok, hop in, let’s ride. Now while we are riding, I am still trying to navigate.

Now, I am new here, so I have no clue how to get around. I will turn Waze on in a heartbeat, and listen to this machine tell me how to get around. And I listen. I do not tell Waze they are wrong, or try to g a different way. Why? Because I am in unfamiliar territory. Now back home, in my “comfort zone’ I turn Waze on, and sometimes try to play the game “beat the ETA” I even look at what Waze is telling me, then tell them they are wrong and go a different direction. But here is the thing, when I go “my” way and not the way the directions say, I sometimes end up sitting in traffic, there is an accident, construction, something that I do not see.
The same thing was happening as I was “allowing” the Lord to drive. I am backseat driving. You ever ride with someone and they are constantly looking at how fast or slow you are driving? Or maybe you are the one going…how fast you driving? You know the speed limit is….umm which way you going? Why are you going that way? You know the exit is…after awhile you are like…”you wanna drive?”
So as I am riding on this journey, I am constantly telling God…ummm…you know it is May and no job offer yet. Umm..its June 1st…June 15…the school year has ended…its July God, remember I am supposed to be in Texas working now…umm God, there’s a job opportunity on this exit…shouldn’t we take it? And as I am riding and trying to dictate how and where and when God moves, he said to me: Do you trust Me?
You see, when developing this closer walk with God, I had to first trust. Now trust can be hard. Afterall, we are used to doing things for ourselves. And it is funny, because as children, we were very trusting. In fact, children have to be taught not to be so trusting. It is the innocents of a child that allows them to not have any barriers up. They simply trust. Now when the trust is violated, then things change. So I had to stop and think about the question…did I truly trust God? This would mean trusting Him beyond just in words, or for surface things. I would have to trust Him for deeper things. Proverbs tells us to trust in the Lord with all our heart, and lean not to our own understanding. In all our ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct our path. My understanding had a timeline on it. My understanding had deadlines. My understanding had me going faster than I needed to, because remember I wanted to play “beat GPS” but don’t you know, trying to beat God does not work. You see, just like Waze knows what is ahead, and will adjust and recalculate as we drive, the Lord knew what was ahead. So I had to stop trying to dictate the ride, and just sit back, trust Him, and ride.
As you develop your closer walk, remember to trust.
The second thing I learned is I had to be bendable. Remember that stretching I mentioned a few moments ago. Yup, it comes in here. Isaiah 64:8 gives the illustration of the Lord being the potter and we are the clay. Now, the closest I have seen a pot being made is in the movie Ghost, but I know that the clay is spinning. It is the job of the potter to adjust the timing of the spin, and continue to work on the clay until it becomes the shape it is designed to be. And after it is formed and shaped, there is some drying time, as well as time in the fire.
As we develop our time with God, there may be some areas of our lives that we need to allow Him to remove. He may need to do some pulling and stretching. And this stretching and pulling is not just for our benefit. You see, here is a big newsflash. You ready for this…cause I am telling you. This part messed me up….IT AINT ABOUT US! Nope, what we are going through, dealing with, walking in, etc…it is not for us. Remember the prayer: Lord You get the glory! Use me! Well, how is is going to use us if we do not allow ourselves to be bended and molded? Oh that’s right, we thought we were good and perfect just how we are. But here is the part B to this: our journey is for others as well. You see, people are watching and listening to how we respond to things. Not only that, as we walk this walk, it is for us to tell others about it. Remember the “all” in Romans 8:28? Thai is part of it. I never would have thought my journey would lead me here to talking about the closer, more intimate walk with God, but here I am.
So, we’ve learned we have to TRUST, BE BENDABLE/FLEXIBLE, but here is the last thing, I had to develop a deeper prayer life and spend time with HIm. Now as children, we learned the “Now I lay be down to sleep” prayer or “God is great” prayer, but there comes a time in our lives that we need to go deeper. We need to talk to the Father, and listen when He responds. Being transparent, I was ok with the quick: Thank you for the day, forgive me for my sins, bless…amen” prayer. Or even just praying, then hopping up, without waiting to hear from Him. Think about the person you are closest to, or were closest to, here on earth. How did you become close? You had to spend time with them. Talk to them, get to know them.

How many of you know people that they only call when they want or need something? You look at that caller id and go, what do they want now? Or when they call, it is all about them. You barely get a word in. They rant and rave, then go, ok I’m done. Bye. They may even ask for your advice, and as you try to give it, they go…nevermind, I got it. I figured it out…or do the exact opposite of what you say. It gets frustrating. And let’s think…do we really call them our friends?

I realized on this journey, I was doing the same thing to God. I was having this monologue of a prayer, if I even prayed more than the surface level. I had to get over me, and let the pronoun “I” go, in order to be in HIs Will. Once I relinquished control, and began to spend time with Him, talking to Him, tuning my ear to hear from Him, and dedicating time to read and study His Word, I found that He was responding. As I spent time with Him, I found my problems and situation may not have changed, but how I responded to them was changing. I found that I was no longer trying to drive the car, but letting Him drive. I no longer had to be in control, or even wanted to be in control. I let Him have full access

Have you let God have full access to your life, or does He only have access to limited areas? Have you relinquished control over to God, or are you still trying run things? Have you let go of your thoughts, plans, traditions? Does God have permission to take over, no matter what?

You see, the closer we get to God, the less we worry about what is happening around us. The more we trust Him, the less we hold on to our stuff. The more we allow Him to bend and shape us, the better equipped we are for what is ahead. We have more endurance, and can handle what is given to us because we are stronger. And the more we spend time with Him and in His Word, the more He spends time with us.

God wants to spend time with us. He wants to hear from us, and talk to us, to fellowship with us. He wants to be our friend. To be a friend of God, we must seek after Him. We must not only want to be in His Will, but be willing.

What are you willing to pay to get the promises of God? How much are you willing to lay down, to be in the will of God? What price are you willing to pay to be all in? The price may be sleep, jobs, family, friends,, traditions, ideas, and even self. The price may cause you to pack up your house, move across country, without all the answers…are you willing to do this if it means being in HIs will? Do you trust Him enough, even when you don’t have all the answers, or see where you are going, that you will still move? Do you trust Him enough to, like Peter, get out the boat and walk on water? Do you trust Him as Abraham, and move and go to a land that He will show you…not has shown, but will show as you move? Do you trust Him enough, that even when it does not make sense, that you move?

One of the questions I was asked a few months back was, was I willing to sell my house and move here without a job and know He had me. At the time I said no. I wanted to have all the details…the who, what when where why. I wanted the plan to align with not just what I wanted, but what made sense to me. But as I was driving to a funeral, listening to Withholding Nothing, I clearly heard the Lord say: “Are you willing to take a lower salary to be in my will?” And at that moment, a choice had to be made. I’m either going to be in HIs Will or not. So, taking that leap of faith, and trusting Him, I said Yes Lord, and begin to walk. While I still do not have all the answers, I am trusting Him.

What about you? Have you completely emptied yourself, your thoughts, plans, and ideas so that He can fill you? Where He leads, will you really follow? Are you willing to go all the way? What will you lay down, give up today, to be in His Will? What are you willing to do, to be all in? What are you willing to give up in order to be close to Him…no barriers…just you and Him, withholding nothing, completely available??